The other day my friend who is a new mother confessed to me, in the middle of our text conversation: the night before that she cried her heart out. Her newborn could not be put to sleep, and you can only guess what sleep deprivation can do to an extremely tired body and soul.
I had my share of those nights too, when Khadijah just could not fall asleep at 3 AM in the morning.I was at my wit’s end trying to put her to bed – as I began questioning the purpose of my existence in this world.
And these days too, when I am at home with both my children. It is not always a bed of roses, being with them all the time.You love them to death, but there are moments you wish you could just yell, run away and hide.
But I found some words that could soothe me during these storms, and most often will remind me why all of these come my way.
“Motherhood is an ibadah. She takes care of their Islamic tarbiyya, she gets rewarded for every wudhu her kids make.” – Shaykh Nuh Ha Mim Keller
What better ways to remind yourself that despite the lack of sleep, the headache, the anxiety and all, nothing will go in vain in the eye of God?
“Yes. Allah knows you are tired. Allah knows it is difficult for you. But you must also know that Allah would never place you in a situation that you can not handle.”
Oh, I cry just every time I read this.
” But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.” (Holy Quran 2:216)
God certainly knows better. I may not fancy being a mother that much, but He says this is good for me.
When my children are not behaving well, when things don’t go as expected with my spouse, I am reminded that I have a choice to make. To react in the most loving way or just follow my whim?
“When you’re going through something hard and you start wondering where Allah is, just remember, the teacher is always quiet during a test.” – Nouman Ali Khan
No, He won’t forsake me.
“A glimpse of Allah’s limitless Mercy is that He sends the right people at the right time with the right words/gestures, to remind you that you are not alone, to reinforce that you are not forsaken, to repair your weak faith so that you can resolve your life with hikmah (wisdom) and to restore your complete tawakkal (trust) in Him so that you rely on Him alone.
Blessed are those who are able to pull themselves out of self pity and depression because they eventually realise the intensity of being taken care of by Ar Rahman (the Most Kind), Himself.”
Allah sends my children with a purpose. These words reminded me just that.
“Nobody likes to hear your problems. God loves to hear your problems.” – Shaykh Hamza Yusuf
Certainly. My husband can only do so much, I can keep complaining to him, but there’s a limit to what he can do to help me.
If He brings me to this, He will definitely bring me through it.
“When she has her first baby, she must manage for another life even more dependent on her personal sacrifices. By the second, third, or fourth child, her days and nights belong almost entirely to others. Whether she has a spiritual path or not, such a mother can seldom resist a glance at the past, when there were more prayers, more meanings, more spiritual company, and more serenity. When Allah opens her understanding, she will see that she is engaged in one of the highest forms of worship, that of producing new believers who love and worship Allah. She is effectively worshipping Allah for as many lifetimes she has children, for the reward of every spiritual work her children do will be hers, without this diminishing anything of their own rewards: every ablution, every prayer, every Ramadan, every hajj, and even the works her children will in turn pass on to their offspring, and, so on till the end of time. Even if her children do not turn out as she wishes, she shall be requited in paradise forever according to her intention in raising them, which was that they should be godly.
Aside from the tremendous reward, within the path itself it is noticeable that many of those who benefit most from khalwa or ‘solitary retreat of dhikr’ are women who have raised children. With only a little daily dhikr and worship over the years, but much toil and sacrifice for others, they surpass many a younger person who has had more free time, effort, and ‘spiritual works.’ What they find is greater because their state with Allah is greater; namely, the awe, hope, and love of the Divine they have realized by years of sincerity to Him.” Shaykh Nuh Ha Mim Keller
These are indeed very beautiful words.
“You have a newborn for a month, an infant for a year, a toddler for two years, a preschooler for two years, a child for five years, a preteen for three years, a teenager for five years. And then they are off. Take care in what you do with those years. They are few, though they may seem like many.”
The truth is, there are times I just could not take anymore ‘Why?’ from my son, or another scream by my daughter. There are moments I wish I didn’t have to read his favourite book for the fifth time that day, or to deal with just one more vomit. But this thing, this timeline, puts things into perspective.
“O Allah, when I lose my hopes and plans, help me remember that Your love for me is greater than my disappointments, and Your plans for me are better than my dreams.” – Ali r.a.
I’ve thrown some of my dreams out the window. But there are lapses in time where I wish I could take them back. This one reminds me that He knows better. He knows better the boundaries and limits I should be pushing to make myself better, and ultimately closer to Him.
There, ten of them quotes that often lift me up. Hopefully they will be of some use to you.