Month: June 2015

Rumahku Syurgaku: Kenali Isi Rumah Anda

 Otak saya sudah mula rindu untuk bekerja secara sistematik untuk memikirkan masalah setelah lima bulan bergelar surirumah sepenuh masa dan sedang bercuti dari kuliah. Itupun salah satu faktor pendesak yang menyebabkan saya mahu memulakan projek ini sekarang, bukan esok, bukan lusa, bukan bulan depan atau tahun depan.

Pertama sekali yang saya lakukan adalah sesi ‘brainstorming’ atau sesi perah otak. Semua idea yang ada, semua yang saya tahu, semua yang saya teringin untuk lakukan dihamburkan atas sekeping kertas. Memang berterabur hasilnya, tapi itulah cara ‘brainstorming’ yang efektif. Kemudiannya barulah idea-idea ini diklasifikasikan dan diprioritikan sewajarnya berpandukan rangka kerja/pemikiran yang sesuai. Dalam erti kata lain, idea-idea saya yang mencapah itu akan disusun semula.

Cara ini tentulah tidak efektif sekiranya saya tidak begitu terdedah kepada perbincangan berkenaan isu alam sekitar- dan saya mungkin memilih rangka pemikiran yang diketengahkan oleh penulis buku ‘popular’ the Green Deen: What Islam Teaches about Protecting the Planet , Ibrahim Abdul Matin. Beliau membahagikan bukunya kepada beberapa bab: Sisa buangan (Waste), Air (Water) dan Tenaga (Energy) seandainya saya berada di situasi itu. Boleh gunakan klasifikasi ini jika sesuai.

Ataupun analisis mengikut ruang atau bahagian-bahagian rumah anda sebagaimana contoh di bawah:

Ihsan The Star

Saya memilih untuk menggunakan rangka ‘consumption – output‘ untuk analisa ini. Sengaja menambah komplikasi 😛

Bayangkan rumah anda, dan ahli-ahli keluarga anda sebagai sebuah kotak tertutup. Apa sahaja unsur yang masuk ke dalamnya (i.e. apa-apa konsumsi atau penggunaan) senaraikanlah. Tak perlu spesifik. Yang keluar daripada kotak tertutup itu adalah output, dan senaraikanlah yang langsung dan utama sahaja (untuk meringkaskan proses). Sesuailah dengan prinsip ‘materiality‘: utamakan yang paling penting sahaja dahulu. Yang kurang impak kita kemudiankan. Berkenaan impak, saya mengambil kira impak kepada alam sekitar dan juga impak kepada perbelanjaan keluarga.

Di bawah adalah hasilnya secara kasar. Akan diperhalusi dari semasa ke semasa.

Hasil awal

Hasil awal

Hasil setelah diperhalusi

Langkah seterusnya adalah mengenalpasti secara lebih jelas impak serta kesan kehidupan seharian saya kepada kelestarian dan kualiti dan kos hidup. Secara umum saya sudah boleh mengesan, masalah  sisa buangan yang paling utama bagi kami, terutama sekali  lampin pakai buang yang sudah digunakan!

Berkenaan elektrik dan air, secara kasarnya tidak banyak yang boleh kami lakukan untuk mengurangkan penggunaan kedua-dua sumber ini – bil elektrik bulanan sekitar RM70 sebulan dan bil air sepanjang ingatan saya cuma sekali perlu dibayar (RM2), selebihnya ditanggung oleh kerajaan Negeri Selangor alhamdulillah. Tiada pengubahsuaian yang melibatkan modal tinggi, cuma tinggal tabiat berjimat perlu lebih disebatikan.

Namun saya berpendapat elok juga saya perhatikan untuk beberapa hari adakah telahan saya ini betul. Akan menulis lagi tentang hal ini, Insya-Allah.

10 Motivational Quotes for Mothers

The other day my friend who is a new mother confessed to me, in the middle of our text conversation: the night before that she cried her heart out. Her newborn could not be put to sleep, and you can only guess what sleep deprivation can do to an extremely tired body and soul.

I had my share of those nights too, when Khadijah just could not fall asleep at 3 AM in the morning.I was at my wit’s end trying to put her to bed – as I began questioning the purpose of my existence in this world.

And these days too, when I am at home with both my children. It is not always a bed of roses, being with them all the time.You love them to death, but there are moments you wish you could just yell, run away and hide.

But I found some words that could soothe me during these storms, and most often will remind me why all of these come my way.

Quote 1
Motherhood is Ibadah

“Motherhood is an ibadah. She takes care of their Islamic tarbiyya, she gets rewarded for every wudhu her kids make.” – Shaykh Nuh Ha Mim Keller

What better ways to remind yourself that despite the lack of sleep, the headache, the anxiety and all, nothing will go in vain in the eye of God?

Quote 2

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“Yes. Allah knows you are tired. Allah knows it is difficult for you. But you must also know that Allah would never place you in a situation that you can not handle.”

Oh, I cry just every time I read this.

Quote 3

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” But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.” (Holy Quran 2:216)

God certainly knows better. I may not fancy being a mother that much, but He says this is good for me.

Quote 4

1551624_674458436017375_1019531738344392336_n“In times of tribulations/problems, Allah is asking who will be beautiful in deeds?” -Shaykh Ibrahim Osi-Efa

When my children are not behaving well, when things don’t go as expected with my spouse, I am reminded that I have a choice to make. To react in the most loving way or just follow my whim?

Quote 5

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“When you’re going through something hard and you start wondering where Allah is, just remember, the teacher is always quiet during a test.” – Nouman Ali Khan

No, He won’t forsake me.

Quote 6

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“A glimpse of Allah’s limitless Mercy is that He sends the right people at the right time with the right words/gestures, to remind you that you are not alone, to reinforce that you are not forsaken, to repair your weak faith so that you can resolve your life with hikmah (wisdom) and to restore your complete tawakkal (trust) in Him so that you rely on Him alone.

Blessed are those who are able to pull themselves out of self pity and depression because they eventually realise the intensity of being taken care of by Ar Rahman (the Most Kind), Himself.”

Allah sends my children with a purpose. These words reminded me just that.

Quote 7

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 “Nobody likes to hear your problems. God loves to hear your problems.” – Shaykh Hamza Yusuf

Certainly. My husband can only do so much, I can keep complaining to him, but there’s a limit to what he can do to help me.

If He brings me to this, He will definitely bring me through it.

Quote 8

 “When she has her first baby, she must manage for another life even more dependent on her personal sacrifices. By the second, third, or fourth child, her days and nights belong almost entirely to others. Whether she has a spiritual path or not, such a mother can seldom resist a glance at the past, when there were more prayers, more meanings, more spiritual company, and more serenity. When Allah opens her understanding, she will see that she is engaged in one of the highest forms of worship, that of producing new believers who love and worship Allah. She is effectively worshipping Allah for as many lifetimes she has children, for the reward of every spiritual work her children do will be hers, without this diminishing anything of their own rewards: every ablution, every prayer, every Ramadan, every hajj, and even the works her children will in turn pass on to their offspring, and, so on till the end of time. Even if her children do not turn out as she wishes, she shall be requited in paradise forever according to her intention in raising them, which was that they should be godly.

Aside from the tremendous reward, within the path itself it is noticeable that many of those who benefit most from khalwa or ‘solitary retreat of dhikr’ are women who have raised children. With only a little daily dhikr and worship over the years, but much toil and sacrifice for others, they surpass many a younger person who has had more free time, effort, and ‘spiritual works.’ What they find is greater because their state with Allah is greater; namely, the awe, hope, and love of the Divine they have realized by years of sincerity to Him.” Shaykh Nuh Ha Mim Keller

These are indeed very beautiful words.

Quote 9

426547_614064051940487_1250367636_n“You have a newborn for a month, an infant for a year, a toddler for two years, a preschooler for two years, a child for five years, a preteen for three years, a teenager for five years. And then they are off. Take care in what you do with those years. They are few, though they may seem like many.”

The truth is, there are times I just could not take anymore ‘Why?’ from my son, or another scream by my daughter. There are moments I wish I didn’t have to read his favourite book for the fifth time that day, or to deal with just one more vomit. But this thing, this timeline, puts things into perspective.

Quote 10

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“O Allah, when I lose my hopes and plans, help me remember that Your love for me is greater than my disappointments, and Your plans for me are better than my dreams.” – Ali r.a.

 I’ve thrown some of my dreams out the window. But there are lapses in time where I wish I could take them back. This one reminds me that He knows better. He knows better the boundaries and limits I should be pushing to make myself better, and ultimately closer to Him.

***

There, ten of them quotes that often lift me up. Hopefully they will be of some use to you.