Month: September 2014

Almost Half Way There – 19 Weeks

If you understand Bahasa Melayu, you have probably read my post before which was an attempt for me to write fully in my mother tongue after a long, long time of not WRITING properly. I love it, but it did take a longer time for me to actually express my thought, so I am back to writing in English, as imperfect as it is.




We went to my O&G yesterday for the usual monthly check up. To be honest, I was quite excited – the little one inside me has started moving rigorously since 31 August (Yes, I remember the exact date, to which my husband was surprised) and I’m keen to see him/her.

Of course, at nearly 19 weeks, the additional reason why I was quite thrilled is because we should be able to see the gender by now.

Whenever people asked me of my preference on the gender, I will firmly say I’d prefer another boy. That goes against what people would expect – don’t you like to have a pair – a boy and a girl? I have explained this to some friends of mine, and also my husband – I truly have no idea how to raise a daughter. I have a lot of people I can look up to on how to raise a son but I can only wish I know the kind of principles I should hold on to in raising girls.

After a quick chat and basic exam, the doctor asked me to be ready for the ultrasound scan. He asked me whether I’d like to know the gender, to which I said yes, and he started doing what he needed to do. He asked me of my gender preference, I told him I would like another boy, joking along the way that I would save my money from spending on clothes, to which he agreed.

View after view – thus far of which I could decipher where is the eye, spine, heart etc.. (we even saw the little one rotating quite rigorously in there – you little sportperson!) until he stopped at a view which was incomprehensible to me, and examining it for a longer while.

“It’s a girl.”

I laughed. Really?

“Just imagine someone sitting on a chair, and you are looking at the person from below the chair. Here are the legs the thighs.If it is a boy, you could see clearly something in between these legs, but you can see nothing. It is a girl.”

I laughed again.

“Is it,like, confirmed, or still 50-50?”

“It is a girl.” He said confidently. And re-explained.

So yes my dear friends, I am carrying a baby girl in my belly, all Praise be to Allah, one who knows what I need and what I am capable of.

p.s. My sister, who was deceived by such ultrasound during her first pregnancy warned me that the doctor could still be wrong!


Kemaskini Ringkas: Pengajian di UM Setelah Tiga Minggu

Minggu ini genap tiga minggu saya bergelar pelajar di UM. Juga bermakna sudah tiga kali saya menghadiri kuliah/seminar untuk subjek yang saya daftarkan. Mengenangkan diri yang mengandung, peperiksaan semester yang dijadualkan cuma sebulan sebelum EDD, suami yang sibuk dengan urusan kerja, saya tidak memilih banyak subjek. Cuma satu. – Teori dan Amalan Pembangunan. Perlahan pergerakan pengajian Sarjana saya, tetapi mudah-mudahan lebih berkualiti. Dan berkat tentunya.

Seminar saya dijadualkan setiap Isnin, dari pukul 6 petang hingga 9 malam. Waktu pejabat tamat hanya pada pukul 5.30 petang, jadi memang terkocoh-kocoh juga saya memandu ke UM. Mujurlah UM bukan tempat asing: sekitar tahun 2009-2010 saya kerap juga mengunjungi UM – menziarahi adik lelaki saya yang menjalani pengajiannya di Ambang Asuhan Jepun, juga menghadiri kuliah mingguan di Akademi Pengajian Islam. Saya menggunakan pintu masuk Damansara, dan dari Jalan Raja Laut melalui Bukit Tunku langsung ke Jalan Duta dan Jalan Semantan kebiasaannya mengambil masa kurang setengah jam. Cuma trafik di dalam UM yang melambatkan. Biasanya sampai tepat-tepat pukul 6 petang.

Lelah, tetapi terasa kebahagiaannya.


Bukan sengaja mahu meromantikkan hal ini, tetapi saat saya berpagi-pagi untuk mengulangkaji nota kuliah, atau tidur lewat untuk tujuan yang sama, terasa sungguh berbeza perasaannya berbanding ketika terpaksa melakukan hal yang sama demi membereskan kerja-kerja pejabat. Betullah, jika ada rasa cinta semuanya jadi mudah.

Moga-moga Allah terus-menerus mengurniakan kebahagiaan itu – dan juga kefahaman ilmu. Amin.

I am Back to School and Loving it!

I have just attended my first class as a Master student last evening.


Yes, you heard it right – I am back to being a student, a part time one at that. This time around I am no longer an engineering student (already have an MEng), but a Faculty of Economics & Administration student!


To be honest, it feels totally different this time around. The fact that I have the freedom to carefully choose the course I am to undertake means a lot. Mind you, I practically did not have that when I did my first degree. I was in a secondary school where everyone was expected to either become an engineer or a doctor, and winning a scholarship for engineering studies (which of course, meant a lot back then, opening up the opportunity to be overseas-educated) means that the only choice I have to make was which discipline of engineering I was to take up. And you have probably read it before – those choices made when I barely had enough information on what they entailed left me suffering throughout my four years – after a year I found out that engineering was not for me but changing my course being a sponsored student would be too much hassle that I just dragged my feet to school for the rest of my degree programme.


Well, I did enjoy my fourth year better though, studying sustainability – if that is of any consolation.


I choose to do a Master in Development Studies (and if you have no idea what that is, feel free to click this link). The easiest way to explain why I choose it is, well, it is an in depth study, though not directly related, of what I have been exposed to in my daily job as a sustainability practitioner.


But the truth is I am just curious. Plain curious. I am taking up a course (paying for it myself, for the time being too) just because I need the knowledge. I need to know. The atmosphere is different and the drive is different, hence. I can feel the eagerness in me which I hope I can sustain throughout the programme with God’s grace.


And that eagerness affected me well. even after 3.5 hours of class last evening (it was supposedly only 3 hours, from 6pm-9pm but the lecturer accidentally extended it) and after rushing from work, I was not sleepy or tired when I reached home. It’s truly the adrenaline. I could not remember if I had ever been that elated after attending any of my undergraduate lectures, or any business classes I had to attend while working.


For the fact that I am in this to learn (and to hopefully use whatever I know later to contribute to the society), I am taking it slow. No rush. I will still have to graduate in 8 semesters max., I don’t need this piece of certificate to move forward in my career, get a promotion, or things like that. And being  pregnant and still working full time (along  with a busy husband), I have only registered for one subject, and I intend to savour it – as what my husband wants me too.


My lecturer has given us the reading list , now it’s time to gear up,  set a schedule, start reading, and of course, thinking.


O Allah, please make this easy for me.


p.s. Back to school with a husband is an excellent experience – my husband has been a real sweetheart about this whole thing: from challenging me to think, reminding me to go and study when Isa falls asleep, showing his interests to whatever I am mumbling about… which makes me wonder if I’d be a better student if we met and got married during my undergraduate years 😛

The day I dragged my two   bodyguards to the library :D

The day I dragged my two bodyguards to the library 😀