Isa is sick, and it has been a long time since he has fallen sick the way he is now.
You know, the kind of illness that makes my heart feels unbearably heavy whenever I look at him.
I suspect that it is HFMD. The GP we met couldn’t confirm it with the absence of lesions on his hands and feet, but he is clearly suffering from numerous mouth ulcers.
He had mild fever since Friday, and it wasn’t until Saturday that the condition becomes worse. I can see he is not as energetic as he always is, and by Saturday evening he refuses milk and food and his saliva started to drip from his mouth.
It hurts me to see him this way.
He is clearly missing his night feeding, and he cried a lot. By Sunday both of us parents are already living zombies.
And now that he can speak, it pains me even more to hear him wailing ‘Sakit, sakit’ ( painful, painful) whenever he tries to suck his bottle.
I am trying to remind myself that this is a test for me. It is a viral infection, all I need to do is be patient with The irritable Isa, and wait for it to be over. Learn to completely leave it to God, and be reminded that there’s only so much I can do. Only so much.
There is a lesson for me in helplessness.