(This is a backdated post)
Thanks to the hazy condition in Malaysia, I’m still suffering with cough – unproductive and hence annoyingly leaving me with itchy throat – and it seems that that thing has infected Isa too.
Anyway, this week has been equally busy, which is evident through the lack of new posts on this blog. Hubs is even busier than I am. Yesterday morning we commuted to work together, after he changed his mind about commuting separately. While waiting for me to finish dressing up, he tried to complete his work on the laptop, and let Isa be occupied with some videos on trains (You’d understand that sometimes audio visual stuff like this is the only thing that will keep us parents sane – but use them sparingly!).
And towards the end of my office hour he told me to go home first, and he’ll go home on a train or something later. I said okay – but I didn’t know that he’d only be back home at midnight!
And on days like these, the most heartbreaking thing to see is your child missing his favourite person. Isa fancies his dad more than me – and I am truly alright with that – and when my husband is not around it is pretty obvious that he’d miss him. Last night, he could not sleep.
It took me an hour to put him to sleep, even with the lights off and everything. I knew he was very, very sleepy at that time (he screamed for milk on dinner table, a surefire sign that he’s sleepy), but he kept wanting to talk. He wanted conversations, and in between those words he uttered he mentioned ‘ayah’, many many times. He wants to ‘sepak’ (kick), ball, ‘ayah’ (dad) (which I take as he wants to play ball with his dad). He ‘baling’ (throw), ball, ‘ayah'(dad). Repeat that 20 times, you know he misses his dad sorely.
By the way, I love talking to my son. Now at 21 months old, he has mastered quite a number of words (his childminder noted that among his peer he’s quite advanced in that sense). And there is always something he’d like to tell me, either mentioning his friends’ names – strangely he seems to remember all names in his group – Azib, Adam, Amir Hadi (his fav), Qistina.
I tried to give my hubs a call, so that he could speak to Isa before he falls asleep, but he could not be reached. Isa finally aslept after much hassle, and it breaks my heart to see him sleeping without seeing his dad.
And this morning, hubs had to leave early, even before Isa wakes up from his sleep.
I keep telling my husband this: I am alright if he comes home late – I am all grown up, I can handle that. But Isa cannot do that yet.
But I know, it is never his call – to leave early or late. Work is work, and as far as I know, he’s the most efficient person I have ever met. He has never, in our two years of married life, came home late just to spend time having fun with his guy friends. Never, even on weekends (that sometimes I had to deliberately encourage him to do so, because I am afraid I am making him duller).
That’s why I have always told him I could never do the parenting alone. I can be the all-nurturing mom, but I am not even half as playful as he is. I can discipline Isa, but I could never be consistent in doing that. All I know is that should he be required to relocate, I’d definitely resign from my job as soon as I could!
That’s life. That’s life for us.