I have known it long ago that one of my very, very awful traits is revengeful. I don’t let go easily, and will always find little ways to pay back. It could be hurtful words coming out from my mouth, or things I do and do not do.
Those are bad, and I am really not proud of it.
Now that I am married, I am still struggling with it. On the occasions that I got upset, or angry with my husband, if I can keep my mouth shut, my mind will terribly lead me to do my revenge in some other ways.
And these days, it could mean me doing impulse shopping that I know my husband would not approve. Because of the price and because I don’t need those things.
The other night the same thing occurred, and my reaction was – “I am buying another handbag, (served you right because you are going to be annoyed about this!). ”
That is what anger does to me.
But of course, despite me still browsing and looking at Michael Kors collection this morning, when I saw the verses I have just studied and put on my laptop, I was reminded.
Indeed mankind, to his Lord, is ungrateful.
And indeed, he is to that a witness.
And indeed he is, in love of wealth,
But does he not know that
when the contents of the graves
And that within the breasts
Indeed, their Lord with them,
that Day, is [fully] Acquainted.
To his Lord, ungrateful (for a kind life partner gifted).
In his love of wealth (and handbags, and prestige, and status), intense.
And that within the breasts (anger, revenge, payback) is obtained.
O Lord, please forgive.