What’s the fuss about sleeping?
When I read websites from the West on parenting, most of them does not condone co-sleep. Well, except for askdrsears.com and other pro-attachment parenting websites. I don’t get it. It puzzled me at first, because that was just how it works naturally in my family and those I know.
I slept in my parents’ room until I was 3 or 4, on a mattress laid on the floor. A baby cot is just non-existent in our family history, except for the playpen my sister bought almost four years ago for my nephew.
During my confinement period, my mother insisted that I should sleep well to speed up my recovery (I suffered from low blood pressure and was badly torn, so I was most of the time dizzy and in pain), so Isa slept in either the playpen we borrowed from my sister, or on a mattress next to my mom at night. My mom will sooth him should he cry, and woke me up only when Isa needed to be fed. I was blessed with the fact that Isa was not colicky, but it took sometimes for him to establish into a sleep routine that makes things easy for me. Letting him sleep with my mother was the best thing to do given my condition.
Post-confinement, as I was back in my own house, Isa slept next to me on the same bed, until now.The plan was for him to continue sleeping in the playpen, but I found that it would be very hot for him (we don’t use air-conditioner), so he slept next to me.
And when I said on the same bed, it is three of us sleeping horizontally, with dad at the end of the bed, me in the middle and Isa next to the headboard. This is only feasible since:
a)both of us are relatively short – none reach 160cm;
b)I sleep curling;
c) and my husband being an easy sleeper who basically could sleep anywhere.
I don’t plan to do this for long though, only until we move to our new house which will have more space in our master bedroom for a mattress to be put on the floor. But I have to say, the current arrangement really helps in making sure that mommy gets her beauty sleep! When people say that mothers lose a lot of sleep, it simply doesn’t apply to me most of the time.
Do I think co-sleeping is dangerous?
Yes, if you put the baby next to the daddy, who apparently lack that natural ‘barrier’. I have never once accidentally bump into any part of Isa’s body – it’s just as natural as not falling from your bed while sleeping I suppose.
We did consider buying a cot for him (the one used during the first two months was my sister’s), but now I think I’d prefer letting him sleep on a mattress (on the floor). Partly due to safety issues around cots, another is as Montessori practitioners suggested, a crib doesn’t allow much independence for the baby to decide on what he’d like to do.
We’d definitely train him to sleep in his own room when we feel that he’s ready. Well, I am yet to know when exactly is that – perhaps when he just could sleep throughout the night without waking up – which I presume is still a long way to go.
Upon moving to our new crib, I’d definitely get rid of our bed frame since Isa will start being mobile very soon God willing, and the least we could do to ensure his safety is to reduce the possibility of him being at height.
Do I think co-sleeping will make Isa clingy?
I don’t think so. I wasn’t clingy, for once, being a product of co-sleeping, and none of my siblings were clingy despite all of us sleeping with our parents for a certain period during our childhood. I like having Isa close to me during night time, due to the fact that it is the only available time for us to bond during weekdays. No, this isn’t a working mother’s guilt. In reality, it isn’t long before Isa starts craving for more independence that I’ll have no chance to being close to him. I’m just living the moment, having seen that co-sleeping will have no adverse effect on children. Oh well, most of us Asians co-sleep – and I don’t think we all grew up being so screwed up.
I may not subscribe to all natural parenting or attachment parenting principles, but on this issue I just have to take side.
So much ado about sleeping, is not it?