Isa is fast asleep so I figure out I’d rather take some time to write than catching up with my (deprived) sleeping hours. The fact about living with a newborn is that my life seems to now being divided into three-hour blocks – to wake him up for feeding if he’s sleeping more than this, to check his diaper even if he’s not being fussy and the list goes. I’d rather write now I guess
I wrote about my birth story previously. Most of us (including me) thought that after the birthing process, the worst is now over. That is not so true.
I don’t intend to write on this, until yesterday when I read one of my doctor friend’s Facebook status; on a father who requested for his wife and newborn child to be discharged a couple of hours after delivery, against the doctor’s recommendation. The reason: he had some work matters to attend to, and need his wife to take care after their other child.
That is, in one word, is CRUEL.
Because from my humble experience, the aftermath could be even worse than pregnancy and childbirth combined!
I talked to some of my friends, and most of them agreed that the first two weeks after giving birth could be the hardest – both physically and emotionally.
I remember my first night in the hospital, a few hours after I gave birth. I could barely move; I did have the energy to do so, but include my low blood pressure at that time, the hollow neddle (for the IV drip) on my left hand, the urinary catheter between my legs, the pain at my pelvic, that was pretty difficult. I was forced to calculate my every move – is it worth the pain?
I haven’t had many uncomfortable experience, but there were several nights in my life that would definitely fall in the hall of shame. This one tops it – it beats the winter night spent in Scotland without a sleeping bag.
I could not sleep though I tried hard to. I could not lie on my back comfortably due to the pain on my hip (and the feeling of my doc tearing me down there could not go away it had me traumatised for one night). The episiotomy could not be harder on me. I tried sleeping on my side (my mother and husband tried putting some pillows to support my back) but it didn’t work, and funnily, I felt that I needed another pillow to support my belly as if I was still huge and pregnant!
And of course, since I chose to breastfeed exclusively, the baby was sent to me every three hours for feeding. I was a new mom, and finding the right position to feed proved to be challenging in my condition. I threw up at 3 in the morning when I was about to feed my son (due to the empty stomach), and the I had to send back Isa to the nursery because of that – despite me wanting to room-in fully with him initially. The first two weeks, like many new moms, I struggled with latching on, sore nipples and the anxiety of whether I have enough breastmilk to feed him.
I lost a lot of blood during delivery which left me feeling dizzy and weak – I had to rely on my kind husband (and mom and other family members) to help me with walking, bathing and changing for the first few days.That’s the kind of dependency I have, which is more than when I was heavily pregnant or delivering.
That’s why I could not comprehend the idea of a husband who is supposed to be the protector could ever ask the kind of things said before.
It is just unacceptable.
p.s. For every pain we feel, should we be patience and steadfast, it will compensate our sins inshaAllah – so cheer up!