Month: October 2011

The Day I Found You

I was on an emotional roller-coaster the day I found you.

I worked hard on a presentation slides I for the whole day, only to find out it was lost when my laptop system hanged – that’s disappointment and exhaustion.

I received the official letter, stating the amount of bonus I were to receive in a few days, which was a nice figure – that’s exhilaration.

And I had a lot more to-item under my belt I felt like it won’t be over – that’s the worn-out feeling.

Then I texted your father. I told him I was sorry I could not cook this evening, had to make up for the lost document I was diligently working on. He knew I was all stressed-out, he didn’t mind.

Then I texted him again: Please get me a pregnancy test kit.

To be honest, my period not coming was the least worrying. But I just hate uncertainties at times when I have a lot to handle. Knowing whether you are there or not would at least help, I thought.

Then I went back home. It felt much nicer to be home seeing my good friend Adibah – who happened to be staying in my house for a few nights. Just the night before I remembered her asking me whether I am planning for a child soon, and my answer was firm : We do not use any family planning method for the time being, if it comes now, alhamdulillah. If it’s not now, then surely Allah knows when is the best time for us to expand our little family.

Then I found both of us lying on our prayer mats right after our congregational Maghrib prayer. Your father was extremely tired, I know, and having heard me saying that I won’t use the test kit until tomorrow he didn’t expect me to use give him surprises any sooner than that.

But my curiosity heightened, and I could not help but checking.

I remembered seeing my fingers shaking out of nervousness – what a life-changing event it could be if the sign turns out to be positive.

And it did.

It did show a positive sign.

I almost fall out of my surprise, because you are there inside me – there’s one little creature inside my belly!

Then I went to see your father. He was still lying, his eyes were closed.

“Dear, do you want to read this?’
I handed him the instruction leaflet. Then he saw me holding the sacred stick – and was like, oh my, she already did the test! – ‘Alright, this cross sign means positive, if it is minus sign, it’s negative,’ he was trying to register all the info.

Then I showed him the stick.

‘Oh man, I haven’t found a house yet!’ – In case you are wondering why such reaction, that’s because he has been saying to himself that he will find a house to buy before the first baby comes, and he’s still in the process of doing so.

Then came the praises to Allah – and some in-denial-father-to-be  jokes your father produced throughout the evening (Could not blame him for that, I presented him the news in the most unromantic way possible. People come out with creative ideas and make it an occasion, but your mom unfortunately ain’t a sucker for such thing).

We are indeed so pleased to have you around, inside my belly and outside soon, God willing.

He snapped the photo of the monumental peed stick – which I am yet to upload, and my half-crying face because at five weeks, the nausea had just started saying hi to me!

And that – that was the day I found you.

You at 9 weeks. Had to scan because of my bleeding.