Entering the Fourth Year: A Will and A Prayer

Somewhere in Sheffield is where I found this.

Going back to University soon.

My flight with Emirates, from KLIA will be on 15 Sept 0055, with a stopover in Dubai for approximately four hours before heading towards Manchester. A total of 19 hours. I’m leaving home tomorrow for Penang for an iftar with my uncles and aunties and cousins, before going to KL to my sister’s house.


Unfortunately, yes.

I keep telling myself that it is going to be only a year before I’m coming back for good, InshaAllah, still, I can’t help but feeling sad. Especially since I rarely get to see my two siblings – my younger sister and little brother particularly. Both of them are away, my sister in UIA Matriculation Centre, while my brother, though just a few centimetres away at MRSM Beseri, were not at home with me any longer than one week. Yes, out of 3.5 months at home I only managed to see them less then ten days in total – after two years.

I am a bad influence, I’ve to admit (since my mom keeps telling me that). I don’t like staying at home alone – and the last time I came home two years ago, I have influenced my younger sister to move back home rather than staying in the hostel , using the concrete reason of helping her with her studies to conceal my motive of having someone else to talk to other than my parents (though I think I did contribute to her significant improvement from 5A’s to 8A’s in her trial exams).

And this year, for the same bad, self-interest motive I have influenced my little 8-year-old cousin to go with me to KL (since I could not bear a seven hour journey with only me and both my parents), that she missed a few days at school. I convinced everyone that she’s brilliant enough to skip a few days, and gotcha! She was with me. I used the same ‘you’re-brilliant-enough-to-skip-school’ excuse for my brother too, and that helped at least to get him off from school on weekends (MRSM is really good in keeping innocent young kids off their family!).

And yes, I broke into tears again this time when I finally said good bye to him just now, and he too, but this time less obviously (that’s because he’s already 17 and we were right in front of girls’ hostel).



I’m eager to get into my busy life again (I’m convinced that I am not good at doing nothing by now) – new students coming means a chain of programmes and activities before MCOT annual general meeting in November, my final year focusing on environmental subjects(this is going to be exciting), my final year dessertation, and plenty of other extra activities I’m planning to do, which includes trying to find a part-time job in environmental sector, voluntary works whenever possible, language class (I just need to wait for my acedemic timetable to come out before signing to any of the class; Mandarin, Hebrew, or maybe French), of course new MCOT religious study circle groups to handle and everything else. Maybe I should start attending Young Greens (of Green Party UK) weekly meetings too, have been planning to do so but never got the chance. I signed up for swimming lessons as well, but told that my name is currently in the waiting list.

Planning on increasing my fitness as well (darn, I’m so lazy when it comes to this part) – kick-boxing session maybe? Yoga and pilates sound interesting too. Walk to school three times a week while fighting the temptation to utilize my bus pass.

And yes, I miss attending religious class, talk, whatever you call it. Plenty of them here in Malaysia, I know, but thanks to our so-called democratic government, my mom is reluctant to allow me to go to markaz for the classes. And talks are usually held at night, which means a big no for me to go driving alone. We have those in TV, but it is different. I cannot ask questions to the speaker, can I?

And my plan to go to Bosnia-Herzegovina this winter needs to be readjusted – well, since Haz found a new priority (I am sulking, Haz!). Maybe I should start sweet talking to my three housemates, hopefully they will be interested to join me. When it comes to traveling, I have always wished I were either a guy that I can travel alone, or married so that I can drag my partner wherever I want to go.

A year to go, plenty of things to achieve.

I guess what I need to have now are a will and a prayer.

A strong will.

A consistent prayer.



  1. Kak,

    hey, sorry, ok? I’ll make it up to you somehow after graduation next year, ok? Who knows, we might be working within each other’s vicinity then, hence we can plan and hopefully EXECUTE more trips together then. After all, this is my last winter here and I haven’t even tried to ski!!

    BTW, just from experience, I used to be so ambitious at how I wanted to keep fit (pump steps, etc), but I found keeping it simple is the best way. Instead of walking to school, why not run? Flat je jalan kat Manchester tuh =P

  2. Haz,

    Hahahha. Hentikanlah usaha memujuk aku!!

    Manchester is too wet to be a consistent runner unfortunately.

    Brisk walking seems to be fine with me (after all tu je yang menyelamatkan aku daripada kenaikan berat badan selama ni), tapi by fitness it means enhancing flexibility, strength, cardio, etc. So running might not be enough.

    Kena berusaha gigih la, kelas ‘pay-as-u-go’ kat gym banyak, so aku tak akan membosankan diri by sticking to just one. Silela doakan aku berjaya!

  3. Semoga berjaya Afni! ^_^ Mungkin gelaran “kakak stamina” akan beralih kpd Afni pulak lepas ni, bukan lagi Aswani. Heh. =P

  4. “when love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.”

    oh, i really like this!

    anyhow, back to the topic, it is rather interesting to see that you the ability to somehow, ‘manipulate’ others to satisfy your own interests..it reminds me of my siste cuz she is like, really2 great when it comes to persuading others and people would normally just go about her way without even realising that she, has a lil’ ‘something’ behind her sleeves..

    but the talent sure comes in handy when you want to be a great da’ie cuz guess what, i, too, have been ‘brainwashed’ by that!hohoho~

  5. Cik Nia,

    Jangan risau, semua ini tidak bertujuan untuk merampas gelaran itu dari kamu.


    Thanks for visiting.

    Yes, that is a very useful skill – no doubt. I’ve just realised that that skill was actually in my blood..it was somehow a trait of the kind of personality I’m born with.

    But still, it is not a good thing if you fail to control the desire to use it for your own interest..like I always do!

    Evil me, I guess.

    Lemme tell you the secret : ‘Make the person do what you want by making that person thinks that it is he/she him/herself who wants to do it.’

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