Month: November 2007

Sunnah Berjuang

Sunnah Berjuang (Nada Murni)

 

Berjuang menempah susah
Menanggung derita menongkah fitnah
Itulah gelombang hidup samudera duka
Seorang mujahid memburu syahid

Dibuang dia berkelana
Dipenjara dia uzlah dibunuh syahid
Namun jiwa tetap mara menuju cita
Membara demi Allah dan Rasulnya

Berjuang tak pernah senang
Ombak derita tiada henti
Tenang tegang silih berganti
Inilah sunnah, orang berjuang

Malamnya bagai rahib merintih sayu
Dihiris dosa airmata
Siangnya bagaikan singa dirimba
Memerah keringat, meluah tenaga

Berjuang memang pahit
Kerana syurga itu manis
Bukan sedikit mahar yang perlu dibayar
Bukan sedikit pedih yang ditagih

Berjuang ertinya terkorban
Rela terhina kerna kebenaran
Antara dua pasti terjadi
tunggulah syahid
Atau menang…

Berjuang tak pernah senang
Ombak derita tiada henti
Tenang tegang silih berganti
Inilah sunnah, orang berjuang

Malamnya bagai rahib merintih sayu
Dihiris dosa airmata
Siangnya bagaikan singa dirimba
Memerah keringat, meluah tenaga

Berjuang ertinya terkorban
Rela terhina kerna kebenaran
Antara dua pasti terjadi
tunggulah syahid
Atau menang…

This is what is defined as a good nasheed.

Syahid.

Atau menang.

Of Scholarship and Freedom of Speech

I’m triggered to write this upon reading a reply from a fellow unknown Mancunian for an email on the Astronout program in our MCOT mailinglist. The earlier email tried to give another view on the program launched by the government (well, by another view, I mean an opposing one), rather than the normal view we’d have read in mainstream newspapers. The reply mentioned about how lucky it is not to have any MSD Officer or Embassy officer in the mailinglist, or else the sender would have been suspended of his scholarship and might as well received a one-way ticket to KL. I’ve seen more of such act (of fear) in my two years life as a university student funded by the government.

First and foremost, I should make it clear here that though I recognize that all those 19 (or so) human rights, as proposed by some groups, might be a hidden agenda of some parties trying to standardize everything, resulting in some people making them more sacred and even holier than the principles of their very own religion (in this case, Islam).

Second, I do believe that freedom of speech, or even freedom of anything should have a limit, and the limit should be set by no one except by God as the Creator- which contemporarily means, set by religion, practically the religious authorities as the interpreters. This conviction is rooted from the notion derived from my lessons on tawheed, particularly tawheed uluhiyyah, which states clearly that all laws should be from the Lord. This implies that all values that are to be held by someone — the rights and wrongs — must come not by his own judgement, but from the Lord’s.

Third, I am a JPA scholar, which means that the government pays my tuition fees and my monthly allowances – which from my own calculation reached a figure close to RM0.5m.

I signed the agreement about four years ago, and no one ever told me that by signing that, I have lost my right to give opinions about matters, especially political issues. I understand that there is a clause forbidding me from joining any political group ( but to my surprise, Kelab UMNO is allowed everywhere on earth, while I doubt if we were to have PAS Supporters Club it will be allowed), but no one told me I’d lose my freedom this much: the freedom to think from a different perspective (in this case). In some ways, I think that is more or less the same as what Mao Tze Dong of China who successfully indoctrinated everyone under his communist reign that there is only one way of thinking that is correct – the way HE thinks.

I know, we are not like Burma. We are not like Pakistan. I am thankful that we are much better than some people in some other part of the earth. But let’s think of how it should better be rather than be pleased then whatever we have. I am no idealist – in fact, I sometimes hate myself for being to realistic – but what’s wrong with trying to achieve perfection? Utopia might be a dream too impossible, but at least we know where we are heading too rather than sticking to that same point. I am an engineer under training, and for at least the last two years of my Chemical Engineering course, I’ve been thought that for any system there is an ideal way of running it theoretically, as well as the real and actual way, and the point of studying the more or less impossible way- for example, the Carnot Engine, is so that we know how far we are from the perfection.

And after all, I am sent to this land of white men to learn, and one thing I learn about these people is that they love to complain, and I do believe that makes their system much better than us in term of efficiency. But of course, what is there to complain when : 1) there is nothing to complain since everything is perfect, which is impossible or 2) I don’t know what I can complain, since I have not seen anything better or 3) I don’t know that I CAN complain, since I don’t know that I have the right to do so. More often that not, to Malaysians – generalization based on my observation on my previous self, my family members and those close to me – the second and third reason are most applicable.

People love to compare, but what is there to compare when you have seen no comparison? Now that I have the chance to see and compare, I now we are far behind. I first hate the idea of some countries being called Third World Countries, while there is not any Second World country, but to realize how different the way people of these two countries think (UK and Malaysia), I have to agree that the gap is too big, that we do not have anything in the middle. I like the idea of trying to build more towering Malaysian personalities – the phrase itself is motivating. I like the idea of having glocal minds. I like the idea of meng’angkasa’kan people, whatever that means, but I am more into ‘subtance’ rather than ‘form’. I’d rather lose the title ‘Negara Islam’ but having its value and codes of law planted in every aspect, rather than announcing it to the world and yet have the our ‘Indeks Rasuah’ so low we had to deny it. That is humiliating. That is even worse, thinking that we have betrayed our own religion by using its name but illustrating a false image of it.

Government is never perfect, so criticism should not be banned.

I am sorry that if what I think and write here is not allowed, but that is what defines me.
I think (as opposed to I follow), therefore I am.

**I would love to write more, but courseworks are depressing. So I leave this entry without a proper conclusion.

Pondan? Duh!

Can’t help but blogging again.

But this one is self-explanatory, hopefully.

To those who still could not find a reason why politics is as important as your self and soul-cleaning process, think about this. I detest the idea of having a minister who speaks in such a way making policies for my country which is to be lived in by my children and my future generations. Even for a marhaen like me to say such bad words is a no-no (thanks for the constant reminders, Kak Sarah!) , when it comes to a leader, a minister, they should be strictly banned!

To those who still support such leaders and behaviour – for goodness’ sake -think! Don’t turn blind eyes on these sickening attitude.

I can still remember the answer given by Nazri Aziz in Jati a few years back, during the session with us overseas students, on why, again, the price of gas is increased, would not that make life harder for low-income and middle class people?

Mafhumnya: Orang miskin tak pakai kereta, jadi mereka tak akan mendapat kesan buruk daripada kenaikan harga minyak.

I was then not so knowledgeable on such things, but I did think that the answer sounded silly and stupid.

This is what happened when leaders live so high up above the sky, they forgot how it feels to be down there on the ground.

*Sigh*

Suspended!

I sooo want to write, but it seems that until the end of this month, I won’t have any time to do so. As I have always behaved as an undisciplined person, I might still write (out of the insatiable need and desire to write) but the following entries might be classified as quickies, rather than long, meaningful ones. Coursework deadlines are everywhere on my planner, wonder why they said that third year Chemical Engineering will be much easier than Second Year.

On the positive side of it, being a third year student is somehow, hmm, fantastic. At least most of the articles in tce (the chemical engineer) magazine suddenly make sense to me (in other words, I did learn something from lectures, which is a good news).

And oh, this is more fascinating – have you ever wondered, the way I did, when we learnt about catalysts years ago in Form Four? I did wonder how catalyst actually helps (to be more sophisticated – helps to increase the rate of reaction, by lowering the activation energy) without being consumed in a reaction, but now I have a whole module explaining the micro, tiny-weeny bits of how catalyst works. That IS interesting, if not exciting, and worth 10 credits (the fact that requires me to at least fake my excitement).

That’s all.

Be more like me, and be less like you

 

I used to love this band when I was in school, didn’t really aware how I lost my interest.

Surfing Youtube today, and I found this, and I think this song is good. The video clip itself is marvellous.

 

“Numb”

I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I’m becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can’t you see that you’re smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

So why don’t we sing this song to the world and tell them we want to be what we should be rather than what the world wants us to be? Why can’t we be what we are supposed to be – and for me, it is to be a full time Muslim without any trace of materialism, secularism, or any other ideologies- someone free from the mold the world tries to pour us in?

Let’s go back to the basics, the fundamental reasons of our existence.

Let’s say to the world : ‘I’m tired of what you want me to be!’